Have you ever picked something up that seemed light at first, but the longer you held it the heavier it felt? A newborn baby? A slim line laptop? A gallon of milk?

No matter how light these things seemed, after a while your arms began to ache. Your body showed you discomfort, so that you would make a change. You had to either shift the weight or put it down.

This is simple Physics. The weight of the object didn’t change. But over time, the weight of the object, plus gravity, put a strain on your muscles.

Physical discomfort frequently requires us to make a change in order to get relief. But what about mental discomfort? Though usually more subtle, the things we carry in our minds can weigh us down.

Often our heaviest loads come from things that have no physical shape: assumptions, mistaken beliefs, and the stories we have been told about who we are supposed to be. The stories we learned well and continue to tell ourselves.

Lately I’ve been thinking about holding on and letting go. And I offer these three stories so that you, too, might reconsider what to keep and what to let go.

Story One: A Parable Continue reading “Holding On And Letting Go. Three Stories.” →

“The myth of independence,” he said. The myth of independence.

I’ve been turning that phrase over and over in my mind, inside-out and upside-down for a couple of weeks now, thinking about what it means for modern America and the world.

I was sitting in the second row listening to Dr. B. J. Miller talk about the nature of living well and dying well, what it means to be human, art and beauty, choices and challenges.

But that one phrase – the myth of independence – stood out for me and became the catalyst for this week’s post.

Traditionally, American culture has promoted and applauded independence. We celebrate it with parties, parades, and colorful explosions. We begin to teach our children how to become independent from a very early age. We push them out of the nest at age 18 and become concerned if they come back.

We speak of dependency as if it were a bad thing, a failure of sorts. If we allow others to become dependent on us, or we are dependent on them, it is typically viewed as negative.

Maybe it’s time to rethink independence. Maybe our notions of independence no longer serve us. Is independence a myth? I think it is.

Maybe our goal should be a healthy, functional interdependence. Continue reading “Embracing Interdependence” →